After I disembarked from the plane and entered the City of Angels, I immediately felt an intense yet gentle loving power envelop me completely. It was evening on Christmas Eve. Santa Claus waved to us joyously from the roadside. It brought to mind a Christmas carol entitled "The Little Drummer Boy The carol is about a little boy rejoicing at the news that Jesus Christ was born. However, he was so poor that he couldn't even find a gift for the holy child. All he could do was beat his drum to glorify Christ. Every time I hear this song, I am moved to tears. And now I impulsively wanted to rush out beating a washbasin in the streets and alleys to tell the world: "The Messiah is born! The Messiah is born! However, I knew I would most certainly be mistaken for a lunatic.

Previously, a three-hour session of Sound contemplation would leave me feeling intoxicated and light-headed. Today, it was really strange. After I had done the Sound meditation for more than three hours at a stretch, anger arose in me for some unknown reason. I began to blame God: "You are always wanting me to do this and do that. Yet, whenever I need help or when I want support and encouragement from someone, no one even takes notice of me. And I can only rely on myself. You have only been using me. You never care about my needs. You turn a deaf ear to my crying. I hate you!

It began to rain heavily at noon. I was in no mood for lunch nor dinner. I felt so hurt that I rushed back to the hotel alone in tears. My hair and clothes became wet. However, the rain gave me a feeling of bliss. I felt a little cold as though I was about to fall ill. I was not only drenched on the outside -- inside, I was soaking wet too. I felt happy yet sad.

Later in the evening, as I was about to return to the meditation hall, I ran into a sister initiate who had flown to LA on the same flight as me. That was the first time we met. She offered to share her umbrella with me. As we walked, these words suddenly rushed out from her mouth: "Look at this rain. It shows just how merciful heaven is! Don't be sad and dejected because of what others say. You yourself are the greatest treasure.

I looked at her, baffled. Her eyes sparkled and her face shone with radiance. However, as soon as she stopped speaking, this momentary glow and brilliance faded away. Faintly I felt that this was just a prelude to something.

We arrived at the meditation hall. A videotape was being played and I heard Master say: "You should make use of whatever talent God bestows upon you. Don't be like those muscular people who do not make use of their physiques and are idle. When they die, they leave behind nothing but a muscular body. Some people go through the motions of walking, they are actually stepping on the same spot over and over. They never advance, nor do they make themselves useful in any way. The most important thing is to do something. Don't think that I was born a holy saint. I too have been through many trials and errors. No one is born perfect. We must try to do things, learn from our mistakes, and improve ourselves so that we can be closer to perfection.

Again tears welled up in my eyes. It turned out that my many small frustrations had slowly built up my emotions. I had completely failed to perceive that this inner wrath and depression had evolved into a spiritual burden. This intense anger emerged because merciful Master wanted to purge my body of this 'garbage', to cleanse me and make me new again.

Master's manifestation body did come to see me today. Overjoyed and moved, I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud. A sister initiate from India sitting beside me watched me sympathetically as I cried and laughed to myself.

During the morning meditation session, cries of exhilaration broke out. Startled, the sister initiate beside me asked, "What happened?

My instinctive response was, "Master is here. True enough. Loud rounds of applause reached our ears. Master had come. Everyone was bubbling with excitement and jubilance. Master looked fine and happy. Every one of the fellow initiates were exulted. It was raining, but Master's arrival brought the sun out from behind the clouds. Even the faces of black-skin fellow initiates shone in radiance.

Master asked us why we liked to see Her so much. I answered quietly to myself: "Because only when I see Master do I realize just how perfect I am inside and just how great I could become. Master is exemplary. The sight of Her fills me with hope and confidence to work harder at spiritual practice and in searching for my true Self.

The 5-day retreat is over. During lunch today, I overheard this conversation: "Brother, how was your 5-day retreat?

"Do you want to listen to the positive and affirmative, or the practical?

"What is the positive and affirmative?

"Well, it was a golden experience of brilliance and resplendence that as lit up by thousands of beams of auspicious light.

"Then what is the practical? "

Well, my whole body aches because of the way I slept. (He meant sleeping while meditating.)

Every one of us felt the same way.

This 5-day retreat was totally different from my previous experiences. I feel as though my former self had died and a new self has been born. I find myself looking at a stranger in the mirror. I feel curious yet find it intriguing. Who am I? All my earlier concepts, ideas, attitudes, responses and style have disappeared. Exactly what is the personality, style and demeanor of this new self? I have no idea at all. I feel excited and expectant. Master has said that each one of us should build our own spiritual Center wherever we find ourselves. No matter where we go or where we live, we should transform that place into a Center of spiritual practice.

In the past, each time I returned from a retreat I would feel as though I had fallen from heaven back into this mundane world. This time, however, I feel as though I have brought heaven back with me. I am thrilled and elated.