Learning To Serve As A Guard

Many disciples have described their spiritual growth as a result of working for the public. I'm learning that working for the public is really working for our own development. Master teaches us by exercising our wisdom through the lessons of service. Thus I enthusiastically accept opportunities that Master provides for me to serve, especially as a guard. I know that I've grown with each experience serving as one.

When I was still a relatively "newborn disciple, I volunteered for guard duty on some of the US retreats like the one in Hawaii (1993) and Chicago (1994). Being a young disciple, sometimes I thought of being a guard as a mere obligation rather than an honor. I would often feel regret after having volunteered to be a guard because I would often miss out on seeing Master. I especially felt selfish if the guard post was some isolated area like a tremendously boring, empty hallway away from all activities. I would sometimes think, "You're so stupid! You are wasting the chance to be with Master. You're missing out on all the blessings. Let someone else have this boring duty. Clearly, I was not mature then.

On this 5-day international retreat in California in December 1996, I promised myself to serve as a guard rather than work as a guard, and lovingly treat fellow practitioners as Master's children, instead of as just people who I had to protect Master from. I prayed to Master, "Please Master, grant me the purity of heart and mind to serve You and all these Buddhas. I kept this prayer with me as I stood guard in the meditation hall.

As I stood there while all the fellow practitioners meditated, I suddenly felt so honored to serve all these Buddhas. I thought, each and every one of these souls is valiantly searching and striving in their own way to return Home. I felt that serving and protecting Master's children is truly a sacred duty. I was very happy to have been given the opportunity.

During the concert, I again was faced with my "empty hallway syndrome. The guard leader assigned me to an empty hallway to make sure no unauthorized person entered the rooms, although most were locked. He also said that this position was critical because one of the doors provided access to the backstage area.

My dilemma, however, was that I was already so tired after five days of guard duty. I also felt that the night would be a long and tiring one. I then started to feel selfish again until I thought: "Master has sacrificed so much for us and has blessed us with so much. Is my love for Master so shallow as to not be willing to give one more evening to ensure the program would be carried out with no interruption? I do love Master very much! I am happy that Master gave me this opportunity to do something for Her. With that thought, I was inspired to be the guard at this seemingly unimportant position for the night. Little did I know that Master had already blessed me by entrusting me with this position.

It transpired that one set of doors was Master's back-way entry into the theater and another set of doors opened into Master's private resting room. I was so thrilled when She came and I had the chance to open the door for Her. After many hours on guard and at the end of the concert, Master had come out. She turned to me and said, "Thank you for taking care of us. My love and respect poured out in three words, "Thank YOU, Master! What else is there to say. She has given me so much and now She is thanking me for doing so little. This is a lesson in humility.

With each experience as a guard, I'm learning exactly what that position requires. The objective is simple: to serve. The hard part of serving is to do it unselfishly and unconditionally.

The second difficult challenge is to balance firmness and gentleness in dealing with people. I only hope Master gives me more opportunities to serve and grow.