My father always told me that one can go through life in two ways: You can be happy with what you have or be unhappy because of what you don't have. In both cases you still have the same. What he meant was that happiness does not depend on possessions but rather on one's attitude toward those possessions. The same can be said, I believe, about our sufferings, be they physical, mental or whatever. We can look at the negative side or search for the positive side. Yes, I think there lies the food for thought...one must search!

May I relate a personal experience that will highlight this? More than a month ago, I "suffered" one major heart attack and several small ones. These were followed by another major one. My "luck" was that I was in the right place at the right time surrounded by the right specialists. I remember going into shock, and a lady shouting, "He has no blood pressure and his heart has stopped beating." What I also remember is that at one stage, I felt a presence on my left, a hand gently caressing my arm, and a feeling of being elevated by "love".

During this time, I never panicked or felt scared of dying or whatever one is supposed to be afraid of. When the pain became unbearable, I tried to concentrate on the wisdom eye and recited the Holy Names (very fast, I remember...). For fifteen consecutive days, I endured extreme pain from the catheter whilst recovering. When the pain became intolerable, I asked Master to help me and was never let down.

After a heart attack, you are no longer the same. A person's perceptions and lifestyle, et cetera, change a lot. From books, I learned that reactions vary a great deal and range from anger, refusal, withdrawal, to whatever emotion one can conjure up. I, for one, decided to try and look for the positive in this experience.

The experience taught and gave me a lot. Throughout my ordeal, I was never left alone! I knew and felt that Master was constantly by my side and that She surrounded me with Her love, but left it to me to ask for help. It brought my wife and I closer to each other. It taught me how destructive anger can be. I learned that although some pain has to be endured, it does not mean that the pain will stay forever. In fact, nothing is permanent. Even extreme pain has an end. The best remedy is meditation and not clinging to the pain! (Don't let anyone tell you that it's easy, but it's worth the effort!).

Master truly does look after us in Her ways. We must just trust Her. Those that know me cannot understand why my rehabilitation has been so fast and how I look so well. Looking at me now, they find it hard to believe that it happened. It happened, believe me! Even my bank balance suffered with me!