Since
my initiation, Master has taught me many lessons both within and without.
Every day I am like a new sprout pushing through the soil to explore a brand
new world. An encyclopedia seems to have been imprinted in my heart. When
I run into difficulty, I only have to seek within and can immediately find
a solution. Each new day fills my life with surprises and challenges. Very
often I overcome an ordeal, only to find myself confronted by another the
very next day.
Before
initiation, I expected everything to be perfect. However, my limited capabilities
only brought self-inflicted pain. I often visited temples, gazing at the magnificent
statues and hoping to meet the Buddhas in the Pure Land. Or, I would sit alone
in the courtyard enjoying my inner peace. My schoolmates loved going to the
cinema and recreation areas, but these did not kindle my interest because
I felt that something was missing. This went on until one day, a sister initiate
gave me a copy of "The Key Of Immediate Enlightenment". In the book was a
chapter entitled "The Buddha is not the Anuttara Samyak Sambodi" (the Ultimate
Truth). Upon reading it, I was awestruck. I had never dreamt that someone
could explain such an abstract idea with such simple words. Later, the sister
initiate lent me one of Master's Buddhist Chanting tapes. As I listened to
it through the earphones, I seemed to have become intoxicated. I was in such
a state of relaxation and peace and it was with great reluctance that I got
up after over an hour. I developed an intense longing to receive initiation
as soon as possible. Finally, I was initiated at Hsihu on the eve of my final
examinations, without having informed my family.
My
emotional state after the initiation was exactly as Master had described it:
"Filled with bliss. You would give sample booklets even to stray dogs on the
street." I became like a preacher, "delivering sermons" whenever I got a chance.
This created friction between myself and some of my friends and relatives.
Then one day it suddenly occurred to me that they were not deliberately opposed
to my faith, they just could not understand why our spiritual group was the
way it was. Unlike worldly knowledge that can be accepted through logical
reasoning, this path takes genuine inner realization to understand. Having
untied this mental knot, I could better understand and care for them. When
socializing with people, I no longer carried such a heavy "Zen smell" with
me. Master has told us that teaching by personal example is better than teaching
through words. True enough, I found that if we can be the epitome of Truth,
goodness and beauty at all times, and deal lovingly with people, others will
naturally notice it. Their misunderstanding of us and our group will be minimized
as well.
Initially,
I often envied other fellow initiates for their wonderful experiences. Each
day I expected to see magnificent light and great saints. But however hard
I tried, my wish was never realized. I began to wonder whether my efforts
were worth their while or not. One day, I suddenly realized how silly I was.
Why was I making myself miserable just because I didn't have good experiences?
The purpose of spiritual practice is not just to have inner experiences, but
to make ourselves happy -- absolutely free and happy. If we do attain the
fifth realm, what good will it do if we are always unhappy? At best, we can
only become 'Miserable Saints'! Having found an answer to my problem, I could
face things with an open heart and appreciate their beauty. I came to realize
that everything is a blessing from God and a source of lessons for our spiritual
cultivation. Therefore, I have become increasingly grateful to God for all
His arrangements.
With
each passing day my life gets easier and happier. Both materially and in spiritual
development, Master has made perfect arrangements for us. Sometimes I might
complain and question why Master has taken something away from me, but very
soon I realize that She is giving me a chance to grow and progress. If we
can make good use of every moment in life, we will know that Master is always
helping and tempering us, no matter how far away She is physically.
How
lucky I am to have found such a great enlightened Master! Sometimes She is
like a compassionate mother meticulously teaching Her disciples how to live
a perfect life in every way -- in eating, dressing, living, acting, learning,
and enjoying. Sometimes She behaves like a kind father who lectures disciples
sternly when they are sluggish, telling them how to use the great, dauntless
spirit when they are weak. Something Master once said touches me deeply: "Our
vision must be so large, larger than life, must be so noble that we have nothing
else to lose. We fear nothing in such greatness of a vision. " How great a
vision and how magnanimous a heart She has! We are extremely fortunate to
have met such an enlightened Master, one who is not easy to encounter. Therefore,
we should learn from Her broad vision and magnanimous heart, follow in Her
footsteps, and together we shall usher in a golden era of glory to this world.
While
On The Path
