I
arrived in the alien land of Malaysia. As a new arrival, I encountered many
difficulties and was unable to attend group meditation. Consequently, I became
easily agitated. During my first month on this foreign soil, I was tempted
to just pack up and go home. But in these moments of weakness, a thought would
always come into my mind: Master has often said, "Everyone has to grow up.
They cannot just stagnate." Each time, I would feel ashamed of myself. However,
my yearning for home never ceased.
Two months later, the chance
I had been waiting for came. I could return to Formosa for a holiday. I was
thrilled. I poured out the many coins from my bag and began to count them.
As my eyes took in the coins - big and small - scattered across my bed, oh,
I felt just how familiar the scene was. It was this very scene that had appeared
in my dream over and over again about a year ago. I would wake up perplexed
from these dreams each time, wondering what currency it was, knowing that
I had never seen it before. Finally, I understood. This was yet another testimony
to what Master once said, "For those who practice the Quan Yin Method, even
dreams are a form of experience."
In a matter of seconds,
I felt that I was standing on surer ground. I decided to stay on, no matter
what. I cheered myself up with Master's aphorism: "We must remain happy, regardless
of the time and place. We must remain happy in times of difficulty or when
plagued by sorrow." I resolved to face the situation squarely. Except for
having to adapt to my job, there was no other matter that I had to take care
of. Master had already made perfect arrangements regarding my food and lodging.
With this optimistic attitude,
I have worked here for several months now and found that, by and by, I have
fallen in love with this tropical, picturesque country. I speak poor English
but need to converse in Malaysian and English at work. Nevertheless, it has
been fun and this language barrier has been a frequent source of jokes between
myself and my colleagues. The local people's simplicity and goodness of heart
have made me feel so much closer to God.
In the early days of Her
lectures, Master once said, "Whenever you run into any difficulty or have
doubts while on the path of spiritual practice or along your life's journey,
meditate more and look within yourself. You will find the answers and understand
the underlying cause of your problem. If you have already done this and the
problem remains unsolved (Master said with a smile), use your heart, concentrate,
be sincere, and write to Master. Once your letter is completed, read it again.
If you are satisfied with it, then tear it into pieces or burn it to ashes."
Fellow initiates burst into laughter upon hearing this. I too took it as a
joke like everyone else. It did not occur to me then that every word that
comes from Master's mouth is meaningful and founded on Truth. She may put
it in a humorous way but it is burning with Truth.
It was not until I was put
to the most severe test in my practice and found myself weighed down by hardships,
that for the first time since my initiation I wrote to Master for help. The
incident gave true testimony to the fact that whatever Master says is the
Truth, nothing but the Truth. By the time I had exhausted myself pouring out
my heart in my letter, tears were already rolling down my cheeks. My elder
sister (also an initiate) kept reminding me to go to bed. I woke up the next
morning feeling so light-hearted as though all my frustrations and pressures
had dropped off my shoulders and evaporated.
When my elder sister was
making breakfast she asked, "Do you still need to send the letter?" I hesitated,
not knowing what to do. I asked if she had the same experience. She replied
with a knowing smile. I knew that Master had solved my problem for me, but
I was still not completely convinced. I kept the letter for nearly a week
until I was absolutely certain that all problems had been solved, that Master
had heard me and helped me smooth out my troubles. Only then did I feel reassured
enough to tear the letter into pieces. Oh, Master, when I poured my heart
out to You in this letter, scenes from my past flashed across my mind one
after another. All my feelings and longing for You gushed out as if from a
fountain.
Under Master's care and
grace, I have emerged safe and sound from trial after trial in the many years
since my initiation. Even in times of great peril and utmost despair, I have
been able to come through all in one piece. As in the case of my fellow initiates,
my experiences - both within and without - are too numerous to recount. Each
time I rise above yet another test, I feel from even greater depths of my
heart.. When I first arrived in Malaysia, I was unable to attend group meditation
because of my unfamiliarity with the land and lack of transportation. I came
to appreciate even more those regular sessions back in Formosa when we could
recharge ourselves. I realized then just how blessed the Formosan initiates
are. In Formosa, I had often seen fellow initiates express their reverence
for Master. At the time, I always stood by the side, keeping my distasnce
from others. I thought that it was enough to communicate with the inner Master.
I could not share the feelings or yearnings of the other initiates. Now in
this foreign land, Master often comes to see me in my dreams. But somehow
I seem to feel just a little bit incomplete. At this moment in time, I have
come to realize at long last justhow blessed we are to be able to grow and
mature under the protective wings of our loving Master.
Master, I realize just how
blessed I am to be Your disciple. I will continue to do my daily homework
and work toward becoming a good and sound instrument for the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.
Let me pray for Your good health and success in spreading the Word so that
more and more people worldwide can bask in Your glory and rejoice in the grace
of Your blessings and merits.
Under Thy Loving Wings