Master Tells Jokes

Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Florida, U.S.A.
June 11, 2001 (Originally in English)

Recently, there have been so many reports in the newspaper about airplane crashes and people dying, that people think airplanes are very unreliable. So the scientists and an aviation company were cracking their heads trying to make a new airplane that had no need for manpower; it was just completely automatic and electronic, with computer voice communication and all that.

So the first one ever was finally made. And everyone was very excited; the passengers who came up to board it for the first time were like the guests of honor. And they all came aboard and then everything was done. The doors closed, and they took off. When they were in mid-air already they heard a voice, speaking from the loudspeaker: "Dear valued customers, gentlemen and ladies. Welcome to the first ever electronically controlled airplane. We are forever done with human-controlled aircraft, because this is electronically piloted. You will be safe and secure. So just fasten your seatbelts, sit back and enjoy your trip. Because this is all electronically controlled, nothing can ever go wrong, go wrong, go wrong, go wrong, go wrong..." And then of course everyone panicked and ran and tried to find a way to get out. But there came a calm voice over the back-up system. It was a very calm, cool and collected voice, saying: "Ladies and gentlemen, sit back. There is nowhere to go but here and now." Then the same voice said, "Please repeat after me, 'Our Father who are in Heaven'..."

If you practice the Quan Yin Method, nothing can really go wrong. It's a bad joke, but it's also a good one. I like it very much.

 

Master Tells Jokes

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