Then
one day I went to a holistic life-style fair to give reflexology treatments,
and I was placed next to the Quan Yin booth. I felt so at home next to this
group, and as I gave reflexology treatments, Master's videos played. I could
feel Her love moving through me and helping me with the treatments. When I
had a moment, one of the brother initiates came over and we started to talk.
Looking at him and another sister initiate, I was amazed at the pure and clear
sparkle in their eyes. I wanted to receive initiation but still had such strong
doubts and difficulty in making the decision to follow this most pure path.
However, I halfheartedly began practicing the Convenient Method. During my
attempt at the Convenient Method practice, I felt terrible backaches and it
was difficult for me to sit in a group. I felt so heavy laden and burdened
that I complained to the contact person, and stopped going to group meditation.
I continued to give reflexology
treatments at the monthly spiritual fairs. However, this practice became dangerous
for me because during one session I experienced sensations of being taken
to a very dark and confusing place. Also, my back continually ached with pain,
but I tried to persevere and remain focused. Although in my heart I was ready
for initiation due to my feeling of unconditional and pure love from Master,
the forces of maya are very powerful and it took a long time for me to finally
decide to receive it.
At a later fair, the contact
person introduced me to another Quan Yin messenger, who came over to watch
as I performed the reflexology treatments. As he stood there, I could feel
the power emanating from him so strongly that I was distracted and almost
lost focus. When we spoke, he seemed so carefree, without any worry in the
world. He was so calm, but I could sense that he wanted to give me initiation.
I waited for a week before I decided to take the initiation. When I phoned
the Center, they were just about to fax the applications for initiation, so
I guess I phoned at just the right moment. A couple of days or maybe a week
passed before I had confirmation for initiation. I was happy and surprised
to see that the messenger was still around. On the day of my initiation, I
asked him why he hadn't left yet. He replied, "Because I was waiting
for you." Touched, I felt more loved than ever before. During initiation,
I felt very heavily burdened and uncomfortable. The contact person and the
messenger asked if my reflexology treatments were like spiritual and psychic
healing. I must have had a lot of ghosts around me at that time. I now no
longer do reflexology treatments, and feel much lighter and more creative.
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