(Originally in English)

 

Dearest Master:

Not long after initiation, I so faced many difficulties and problems in life that I lost control of myself and never practiced. My husband created a lot of problems for me so that I ended up bankrupt due to his gambling habits as well as ruining our career. I do not know whether it is my karma that I have to endure him cheating on me time and again and to be in such a situation. I lost faith in spiritual practice, broke the vegetarian diet, and did not wish to practice anymore.

Besides, after I was bankrupt, my husband still did not change for the better but kept on incurring more debts, and debtors kept coming to our doorstep creating chaos because of their money. What came next was that I was pregnant again. At that time, I felt that I could not afford to keep the baby because I was having so many financial problems. So I had an abortion even though I felt very depressed to do so. I couldn't work or divorce him because my daughter was only a few months old and no one could look after her as she was too attached to me.

Moreover, I was hoping that my husband would change for the better so that my daughter wouldn't have to face a broken family at this young age since I brought her into this world.

As I wondered why these things kept happening, I was very discouraged. Then suddenly I felt like reading Your magazines again. After reading, I started to practice meditation daily, and I saw purple and yellow lights and they were very beautiful. A few days later though, I began to have doubts and fear, probably because I broke the precepts and felt guilty thinking that Master had already left me.

However, Master, You are so merciful, because when I thought about giving up again, You appeared in my dreams telling me not to be fearful of the negative force since I did not deliberately harm anyone. Then you touched my forehead and when I woke up, I felt an energy rushing throughout my whole body.

During meditation, why do I frighten myself with ideas that disturb and prevent me from concentrating? Why do I have fear of the darkness and of negative things? Why is it that through meditation practice, we can leave our physical body and enter into different worlds of existence? If we are not totally enlightened before our death, will we be liberated also or will we be reborn again? Why do good and innocent people suffer terrible death? Is it fair?

Dear Master, I thank You for Your kind attention. Good-bye. I hope to hear from You soon.

Yours sincerely,

Dear Sister,

Sometimes God creates some adversity for us in order to cleanse our karma and remind us to look inwardly for inner God almighty and rely on It to rescue and uplift ourselves out of ignorance and suffering. Therefore, all situations are lessons only. No one is truly good or bad. They are all playing different roles. The more we practice spiritually, the more easily we will live and let live.


Since initiation, we are connected from within. Therefore, even though you had broken some of the precepts, you still feel the Master is with you to care for you. As long as you have sincerely repented for the past, resolved to improve yourself, tried to make up for your mistakes, and are determined not to violate the precepts again, then it is not necessary to blame yourself and have guilty feelings anymore. Instead, you should encourage yourself to advance further and higher. This is more positive and helpful to you.


The feeling of fear sometimes is from our collected memory. It will become better after you do more spiritual practice. When you have fearful feelings, you may recite the Holy Names and pray for my help. You are always under my protection and care. There is no need to feel frightened by anything.


When practicing the Quan Yin Method, the process of going to different worlds is very gentle and safe. You do not need to worry. It is also not necessary to expect having some very special or shocking experiences. Just meditate and practice spiritually as instructed; you will progress gradually in many aspects. You will also realize many things from within naturally; thus most of your problems will be solved or be regarded as nothing.


Any initiate, as long as he/she has endeavored to observe the precepts and to work hard on spiritual practice, will definitely be liberated. Even if one is not completely enlightened, after death, the Master will continue to teach and guide him/her in the other worlds so that higher levels may be attained.


Ching Hai