By Sister Initiate Yuping Hu, Taipei, Formosa

Every time we go to the Rainbow Garden in Hsihu, I take you to the sand area to play, many children are always playing there. That day I took you there again and we built sand dunes. Seeing us play with the sand, some children joined us.

First, we sprinkled some water onto the sand dunes to make the sand stick together. We made trails on these little hills to let the toy cars drive up. I then sprinkled some more water on the sand and made some sand balls, putting one on the top of the hill.

A little girl said to me, "Auntie, I want to have a sand ball." So I made a sand ball and gave it to her. Watching her hold the ball carefully, I asked her, "Do you want to have another one?" "Yes," she nodded. I made another one and put it into her other hand. She held it preciously. I made many sand balls of varying sizes for other children to play with. Some older children asked me how to make them. So I showed them the trick and then we all had fun making balls.

I put a sand ball into your hand, but you smashed it with the other hand, looking innocent and finding it fun. I put another sand ball into your hand. Again, you smashed it as though you enjoyed it. The little girl said, "Auntie, he keeps breaking the sand balls. But my sand balls are still fine." I smiled and asked her, "Do you want a bigger one?" She said, "Yes." She threw away her sand balls and waited for me to make a bigger one.

I made another sand ball for you and said to you, "This time, do not smash it, or I will not make another one for you." However, you ignored my warning and smashed it again while laughing with an innocent expression. Other children said, "You only know how to be destructive."

Hearing that, I too wondered why you smashed the sand balls. Normally you show no destructive tendencies. You always express your feelings directly and often do not put them into words. While wondering about it, I believed that you must have had your reason.

One day, as I lay on the floor at home, it suddenly occurred to me that in your eyes, those things were not balls, or hills, or castles. They were nothing but piles of sand for playing. All those things were unreal. When the moisture evaporated, they all turned back into sand again. However, I was like the little girl holding them with great care, reluctant to part with them.

We are all like children playing in the world created by our own imaginations. When we play, we put ourselves wholeheartedly into it and even give imaginary lives to the things that we play with, believing that they are real and hence become attached to them. As I came to this understanding, how I wished that I could be as pure as you are and regain the non-possessive state of mind.