At the time of the Lunar New Year, tormented by physical exhaustion and inner worries, Master collapsed and had to be sent to the hospital. Her attendant recalled: "On the way to the hospital, Master regained consciousness for a short while. Observing that I was perspiring and crying out of anxiety, She comforted me with Her feeble voice, ''Take off your gloves, they are too hot!' Then wth some tissue She even used Her weak hand to wipe the perspiration from my forehead." When talking about this, the attendant couldn't hold back her tears: "Master then told me to call and tell everyone that She was all right, so that they wouldn't worry. Having finished saying these words, She fell unconscious again..."

Knowing that disciples were very worried about Her, Master found an excuse for us to visit Her at the hospital. It was the third day of the Lunar New Year, and Master called us on the telephone early that morning detailing the things that we had to do. Then She mentioned that in the Au Lac and Chinese tradition the third day of the Lunar New Year is the day to pay respect to one's teacher. Therefore, She allowed those wishing to see Her to go to the hospital, reminding us to bring biscuits and candies!

Though suffering in the hospital, Master didn't forget to give disciples traditional envelopes containing a gift of money for the New year, She asked Her attendant to give us the envelopes filled with Her love.

When we arrived at the hospital with flowers, evergreen plants, biscuits and candies, the attendant told us that Master was in the Magnetic Resonance scanner. Good heavens! Master said that She dreaded this kind of examination most because She had to be shut inside a long tube alone, and had to lay there motionless for several painful hours. We were extremely upset thinking about Her enduring such agony.

In the waiting room, we meditated and recited the Holy names in silence, praying to God to save Master from further torment.

Later in Master's room, disciples sat around Her bed, their anxious hearts aching. Master sensed our feelings, opened Her eyes, and struggled to get up and comfort us. She said that the Chinese New Year is very important to Chinese people. So, since we were in a foreign country, She felt She was obliged to entertain us.

   Loyal Protection From Master's Manifestation Form   

Master told us She actually didn't have to go through this suffering. Disciples know very well that Master endures physical pain because She mercifully accepts the karma of sentient beings.

The attendant mentioned: "Master, when You were unconscious, the medical staff wanted to give an injection to anesthetize You, but You suddenly sat up and said with a firm voice that You didn't need the injection, and then You lay down again." Master said that She couldn't remember this incident, and that it must have been Her manifestation form trying to protect Her. Because Master's body is so sensitive a normal dose of anesthetic could be too much for Her. If the medical staff overlooked this and gave Her the injection, it would cause great harm to Her and perhaps She would remain unconscious for a very long time.

When Master was being examined in the MR scanner, Her attendant didn't request to stay by Her side, so She sighed sadly feeling that no one really cared about Her. If we were concerned about Her, we would have insisted on staying with Her, watched Her through the glass window, or even carve a hole in the roof just to be able to see Her! We should have assured ourselves that She was all right! We always say that we love Master, but what a shame that Master's manifestation form faithfully protects Her better than we sometimes do.

   The Intimacy Between The Buddha And His Son  

Master felt better after a while, so She sat up to enjoyed the blessed food with us. While eating, She told us about the intimate relationship between Shakyamuni Buddha and His only son, Rahula. Despite Rahula's noble position as a prince, after becoming a monk the Buddha treated him very strictly, even more severely than He would other disciples. Once when Rahula made a mistake, the Buddha punished him by making him sleep in the toilet.

Two thousand five hundred years ago in India, the toilets used by the monks were not like the modern ones we have now that are finished with ceramic tiles and scented with deodorizers. Rahula spent the night in a crude and roofless toilet, and that was how the Buddha taught His son. As a result, Rahula learnt humility, and eventually became the fourth patriarch of the lineage.

   Like Husband And Wife, Share The Same Fate   

Master took the opportunity to point out some faults common among the resident disciples, hoping that we would improve. She said that after following Master, some of us mix too closely with fellow disciples, paying too much attention to friendships, forgetting our initial goal of coming to learn with Master. Even a noble one like the Buddha's son had to go through severe ordeals, how can we be exempted?

Master further expounded on the relationship between Master and disciples. At present, She said our relationship is still likened to that of girlfriends and boyfriends, who are only prepared to share happiness. We have not reached the stage of a married couple -- ready to go through "thick and thin" together, sharing the same fate.

Attracted by Master's magnificence when She gave lectures on stage, we threw ourselves at Her out of adoration. However, when we eventually got close to Her, we couldn't assimilate Her personal teachings. Master pointed out that we often wondered why She didn't recognize our greatness. She said, "If you are really great, then prove it to me!" Certainly, because Master knows that we are great, She spurs us on to find our own true greatness.

Very often, barriers and misunderstandings are created between Master and ourselves because we "think" too much. One instance cited by Master was: One day, She was planting trees with several resident disciples. They were working and considering very carefully the proper places and ways to plant the trees. Suddenly, another resident disciple came by, stood on one side, and asked with 'good intention': "Is there anything I can help with?" At that chaotic moment, Master could only think of two words: "Go away!"

Laughing, Master explained: "Everyone was working hard, and I was worried that the tree might hit him while we were moving it around, yet he was there expecting me to explain how this tree had grown so big, and how it was safely brought here. He wanted to know the whole story. Unfortunately, his ego was hurt!"

At that moment, a nurse came in holding a syringe filled with yellow fluid. She was surprised to find so many people in the room, so Master told her we were Her students who had come to see their teacher at New Year's time. After taking the injection, Master requested the nurses to join us for afternoon tea. They enjoyed a relaxing moment by Master's side before they left. Then Master told us to take a big basket of blessed food to the nurses' station and give it to all the medical staff.

After that, Master let us sing a few songs for fun, so everyone gave their "best performance" in front of the greatest singer. Since we had hardly practiced, many of us sang out of tune, but our sincerity must have moved God, and even Master sang with us.

Master even distributed fragrant flowers to everyone. Instantly, Her love transformed the little hospital room into a fragrant heavenly palace filled with the sounds of music.

We knew very well that Master was trying to make us happy, but we were worried that She might be exhausted. When Master gives, She always gives unreservedly and selflessly, so we also tried our best to sing, while hoping for God's blessing to expel all adversities.

   Goodbye Jealousy!  

Later Master mentioned that She found out that the attendants often didn't take good care of each other by allowing one another to go hungry, She was very upset and cried. She pointed out to us that whenever someone gets close to Her, other people nearby become jealous, and deliberately or unknowingly put pressure on that person until he or she can't stand it anymore, then they runs away. What we don't realize is, Master keeps that person by Her side just to save him. Otherwise, he might have to transmigrate many times more.

Since we are all Master's disciples, is it possible for Master to overlook this person? Of course not. Can we bear to see Master come down to this world of suffering just to save this person? If, because of our ignorance, we have forced that person to leave, the bad karma incurred would keep us from seeing Master for a million years, even if we managed to get to heaven.

Master's heart ached when She saw disciples creating bad karma out of ignorance, so She painstakingly explained this to us. Perhaps one's karmic hindrances are so great that we cannot suppress our jealousy, but we still have to try our best to control it. We are all brothers and sisters, so how can we treat each other like this?

Master sighed and said that not every person has the affinity to stay by Her side. Because of our ignorance, we make Her feel so lonely all the time, because She cannot find a good companion.

Master's tears melted the disciples' stubborn and iron hearts. We are really too selfish! Master, we are so sorry.

   Don't Let The Cross Befall Christ Again!   

As we picked up the flower petals from the floor and prepared to leave the room with a basketful of blessed food, Master stopped us and in a sobbing voice said, "Thank you very much for your singing! Happy New Year!"

While waiting for the bus, we looked up at the "starry, starry night..." and recalled the scene a moment ago in the hospital. On Her bed, Master stretched out Her arms and said to heaven: "Never mind, I have been crucified anyway." Life after life, Christ has been redeeming people with His blood. How can we be so cruel to further hurt the gentle, pure heart of the Holy One?  

        Now  I  understand  what you try to say to me?
        How you suffer for your sanity,  
        how  you  try to set them free,  
        they would not listen,        
        they did not know how,         
        Perhaps they'll listen now.
        

 "Now I understand what you tried to say to me,

 How you suffered for your sanity,

 How you tried to set them free.

 They would not listen,

 They didn't know how,

 Perhaps they'll listen now..."