I really tell you. It happens -- it takes a lot of strong willpower from my part to keep you. Not your willpower alone. Because everything you do affects me. If someone wants you and they pray to me, I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble all the time. How about all these domestic problems. A husband wants to leave home -- follow me -- and the wife stays at home, lonely, praying to me. Sooner or later we have a quarrel, me and the husband; then he has to pack.

Where else would he go but home? Then they are happy together; meanwhile still criticizing me, "Oh, the Master is not as I thought. She got mad, She kicked me out. She was angry. She was unreasonable. She was...ah, God! I'm so disappointed in Her. Yes! Some people not only left me, afterwards they had a bad illusion about my attitude -- negative thinking -- because of the way I kicked him home. I had to kick him, otherwise he wouldn't go home if I'm always sweet to him.

Yes! One couple -- I got along well with one, but the other one prayed that he'd come home. So we just had a quarrel. I had to kick him out. He hasn't forgiven me yet, because his ego was hurt. I had to kick him, really hurt him terribly, so that he could leave me. Otherwise, he would never leave me. He loves me so much. He likes to be around me. That I understand. But how about the wife? She likes her husband more than she likes me. Fine! I understand that. But he had to go home, so one of us has to be the bad guy. It's me, always.

How could he be the bad guy? He is a disciple. Already devoted and wanting to come to me and nothing could change him. But both of them are my disciples. Each one prayed for a different purpose. Sometimes I cannot choose. It's very difficult to be a Master, do you know that? Sometimes I cry too because I have to do things I don't like to do. For the sake of what? If the husband loves me more than his wife, if the wife loves me more than her husband, then she comes to me, he comes to me. But the husband wants her, more than she wants Master. Then I say, "Then you come along, both of you! Then both of you have me and husband as well."

"No, I like family life better." Well, that's her choice. But that choice puts me in trouble.

That's the problem. So think twice, think two hundred times before you follow me, I mean closely. Be a resident for good. All this devotional talk and vows -- watch out for me. I love all of you. I would have loved to have built a big house, big village, so that all of you could come any time. Be my guest, be at home. I'd have allowed that, more than anything. But it is not practical in this world. You have too many ties, too much karma and the Maya force is very strong.

Don't think the disciple next to you is the Buddha all the time. He is worked by Maya too, by the dark force too, to drag you down, to drag you out, to test you, to give you trouble, make you struggle. That causes troubles for me. He cannot trouble me directly, so he troubles you. Then you trouble me. That is very convenient. So please stop having the illusion about following the Master -- big disciple, the foremost, runner-up or whatever. Just stay where you are and try to work as best as you can.

I can make use of all of you. But where would we go, where would we stay? What would we do with all your wives, husbands, kids, families, brothers, sisters and friends. Even brothers, sisters and friends make trouble. Some people follow me and then their relatives sell me, because they get mad. Not follow me like a resident, just come eat vegetarian, meditate, and improve your qualities even. I have never taught you anything that is bad for you or your family. Did I? Never. Everything is good for you and for them. But they don't like it. They don't like that you love someone else besides them.

Yes, that's it. The way you love me, they don't like. "Why? She has nothing to do with you! She is not even a blood-tie, nothing. Who is that Supreme Master Ching Hai anyhow? Why do you listen to Her and not me? Doesn't matter if She says the right thing and I say the wrong thing, as long as you listen to Her, it's wrong. You must listen to me! Things like that.

The family member would dictate: "Why? You have always listened to me before. Now you've changed. You can't! You have to listen to me all the time, even if I know that I'm wrong!" That's the human nature. Then they go out and sell me to the newspaper or whatever.

The newspapers are not always guilty. They listen to all kinds of gossip and then they print what they know. For me, I live through all this, no problem. Just by the way, so you have to think more about what you want to do. It's not as easy as we think. Things are not so simple. It may be simple and pure at this moment only, or for a few days and weeks. Then it develops differently.

So, any one of you who wants to follow me, wants to go with me, please think about it. Don't bother, don't rush and it's okay where you are! I told you already, you have to make a village where you live! If you cannot attract anyone else, then make a village for yourself alone! Why? You are the chief, you are the village inhabitants, everything. You control your world! Right! This is also a village. You are with the master, you are with God. Three of us, it is crowded enough for a village.