Master Tells A Joke

The Stupid Servant

Spoken By Supreme Master Ching Hai
at the 7-Day Retreat in Cambodia
(Originally in English) May 15,1996

 

 There was a person who was very rich and very addicted to alcohol. One day, he happened to go out; but then he worried that his servant at home would try to eat something of his food while he was away, or drink some of his good wine while he was gone. Even though he had already been very careful and he picked a very stupid looking servant, so that he was not so tricky and didn't know how to eat or steal things or make excuses. Even then, the rich man was still careful, and worried about the servant.

 So he said to him, "Okay, now, you stay home and take care of my house. You know, there is a piece of pork hanging over there in the kitchen. Look after it. Don't touch it. Then there is another chicken, still alive, next to the kitchen. Also, don't touch it, and take care that all the dogs and cats do not come and eat these. He also said, "Oh, another thing is, there is a pot over there. It's covered very carefully. This is poison for the mice. Don't touch it. If the mouse drinks it, it will die, so don't touch it. So, he went.

 The servant just took out the pork, roasted it, and ate it. Then he took out the chicken, killed it, and ate it too. At the same time, he drank the alcohol to accompany it; and felt very good, drunk, and laid there and slept very peacefully. When the boss came home and saw the servant sleeping on the sofa, and also smelled of alcohol, and some of the chicken bones were scattered all over the place, he kicked them all around; and he slept. So the boss woke him up and said, "What about my chicken, my pork spare ribs. What happened to the poison (alcohol pot) over there? (Master laughs.)

 So, the servant cried hard, kneeled down on the floor, and said, "Oh, please, forgive me. I have really been very obedient to you. I tried to look after your house and everything. But then, unfortunately, there was a cat who came by. He crawled up to the roof of the kitchen, took the pork, and ate it. When the dog saw the cat do that, he took the chicken, went out, and ate it. I was so worried that when you came home, you would kill or scold me, so I took the poison. (Master and audience laugh.) But why am I not dead yet?