Master Tells Jokes

There is No Need to Fear

Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai in Hsihu, Formosa, February 6, 1992(Originally in Chinese) Videotape #209

100K: Aulacese, French, Portuguese, Spanish subtitle
56K: Aulacese, French, Portuguese, Spanish subtitle

A chimpanzee that was a major attraction in the zoo became ill and was sent to the doctor for treatment. The number of visitors dwindled during its absence so the manager of the zoo came up with a scheme. He hired an unemployed man, had him don the furry coat of a chimpanzee and instructed him to jump around in the chimp’s compound or swing among the trees. This proved to be a very effective strategy and the man attracted large numbers of visitors.

Then one day the fake chimpanzee was enjoying swinging from tree to tree so much that he accidentally fell into the adjacent compound. To his horror, he found that his neighbor was a tiger. The tiger charged toward him and roared, while the fake chimpanzee kept retreating. Then the tiger stopped right before him and stared. The fake chimpanzee was so afraid that he trembled and nearly fainted. At that moment, the tiger said to him, "There’s no need to fear! I’m also a stand-in!"

 

The Price of Wearing Long Hair

Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai in Hsihu, Florida, USA, December 28, 2001, (Originally in English) Videotape #735

100K Real Video
56K Real Video

There once was a teenager who had a rich father. He wanted to buy a small second hand car and his father told him that he had to have "A" grades, be good and also cut his long hair before the father would buy him a car. The son made the "A" grades; he was also good and behaved well, and everything was OK. But the boy didn't want to cut his long hair. So the father asked him, "Why is that?" The father was a devout Catholic so the boy said, "You see, Jesus had long hair and Moses had long hair. Why do you want me to cut my hair?" And the father replied, "Yes, Jesus and Moses had long hair. They also had something else in common—they had to walk!"

 


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