by sister-initiate Wu Xun-wen,
Taoyuan, Formosa

Before I was initiated, I often envied the many fellow initiates who experienced near-miracles in their daily lives and practice. In my heart, I could not help but hope that the same wonders would happen to me. However, after I was initiated, my experiences did not meet my expectations. I thus became anxious and often questioned myself, asking, “Why do I see nothing?” This terrible mood remained with me for days. And although I had some cheerful moments while watching Master’s videotapes, as soon as I began to meditate, my anxious yearning would again push me into inner turbulence and torment.

As time passed, these mental struggles gradually subsided and only then did I recall that when I initially vowed to quit the meat diet and practice spiritually, I did not do it for the sake of having fantastic or miraculous experiences, but because I was totally convinced of Master’s message about vegetarianism and the nature of human existence. I was especially awed by the noble and selfless demeanor of the great person that Master is, as well as by Her boundless love, which is as vast as the ocean. Each time I thought of this, my eyes became wet.

Until several months ago, however, I was apathetic and not very generous in my dealings with others, as many Taipei urbanites are. Inwardly I knew that as a member of the great human family it was very sad to let my heart become so numb and merciless. Nonetheless, my habitual lethargy and reluctance to accept responsibility for my attitude got the better of me. It was not until I was overwhelmed by Master’s noble spirit that I urged myself to stand up and stop making the excuse that it is easier to go along with the crowd and act selfishly as most people do.

Ever since I joined the Quan Yin family, Master’s divine love has motivated me and nurtured my fragile faith in the Truth through the words and actions of fellow initiates. And although I have had no fantastic or sensational experiences, I have found a balance in my heart. Each time I encounter a problem that I cannot solve, I just casually refer to one of Master’s publications, and become enlightened about the answer. Even by simply observing the changing relationships of the people, objects and events around me, I gain new insights that awaken me from dependence on my die-hard ego.

Compared to my old self, I am no longer plagued by fear and suspicion, and can always express my love and the brighter side of my being. And for me, this is the most precious experience of all!