Until a recent series of personal trials affected me after moving from farm to city, I thought I was a fairly diligent disciple. In my new urban environment I was unprepared for the changes in lifestyle I underwent, having to work three jobs to make ends meet. Working nights also interfered with my ability to attend group meditation at the Cape Town Center, and in the chaos of life without the protection of meditation, I became agitated, impatient and irritable. People and events seemed too much to bear. During this time, although I struggled to rise above the situation, I became dismayed at my waning meditation practice and soon felt unfit to attend group meditation.
Then for a brief interlude in March and April of 2003, I found my way back to the Center, where I heard the amazing message about the Quan Yin family’s spiritual elevation. It was wonderful and inspiring to see and recognize our sisters and brothers who had made it to the level of non-regressing saint.
But once again I began judging myself and becoming lost in the daily demands of work; so I returned to my habit of skipping group meditation, but my heart longed deeply for spiritual progress. During this period I had three inner experiences of special intensity, which I recorded in my spiritual journal and present below.
Experience 1: On October 21, 2003, in the midst of everything, the Divine Energy pours in from the top into an image of my heart (much like the one Jesus Christ holds in his hand in colorful Catholic pictures of the Sacred Heart), making my heart open like a flower blooming in the sunlight and creating infinite bliss ....
Experience 2: On November 23, 2003, I open the door of my car, swing my feet out and suddenly perceive the “OM” resonance. I am struck, being entranced by its perfect pitch and the vibration it creates. I can feel it in the ground. I remain sitting there, listening with every fiber of my body and being. It is magnificent!
Experience 3: On November 26, 2003, I unexpectedly see my name on “The Page.” It is the same as the holy pages of names of initiates who attained the higher planes as “new free souls!” I can recognize the format even though I can’t see the print clearly because it’s shining so brightly. I just know for sure what is. I am so pleased! Then I realize that I’ve been a lousy practitioner. I need to do a lot of self-repair. I can hardly believe that my name is even there, not of my own effort!!
Later, however, I decided that these inner experiences were merely the result of wishful thinking, and scolded myself for my arrogance at even dreaming such things. But when I finally went back to attending group meditation, I was shown Master’s merciful Christmas greetings announcing the increasing numbers of souls reaching liberated status!
Thank You, Master. I am overwhelmed with appreciation and love at having been granted Your divine mercy. May I find the strength to change my ignorant ways, and thus be able to offer You the gratitude and love You deserve.
Note: This sister has been working in government-funded projects that assist the disadvantaged and disabled in starting self-sustainable businesses making handmade paper and crafts from waste products and plant fibers available in their regions. “Though I may have some worldly information to share with the less fortunate,” she says, “they themselves are greatly assisting me in evolving my own compassion.”
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