While on the Path

By a resident disciple, Hsihu, Formosa

The Inner Master is the best spiritual doctor. She always prescribes the most proper remedy for me according to the condition of my health. But effective medicines are often bitter. Sometimes I want to have sweets, but Master gives me a bitter potion instead. Only when I am cured do I discover that this bitter medicine is extremely beneficial for me.

In the News magazine, we often read articles about how Master helps fellow practitioners realize their dreams. In private, we also hear similar stories from initiates. However, for a while such stories seemed remote to me, because the Inner Master always bestowed on me what I most disliked or feared, and seemed to have overlooked what I craved and prayed for.

The following is one such example. In my childhood days, I often visited monastic practitioners with my mother. Most of the nuns gave me the impression of being pessimistic and torpid, and this image remained in my mind even after my initiation by Master. I was a loner, unsociable and felt out of place in the world; I dreaded having company and hated group living. Therefore, after I was initiated, I thought of living in seclusion, just like the ancient mystics living in hermitages, detached from the world. The idea of leaving home to become a resident disciple in Hsihu never occurred to me. However, my struggle ended in failure more than a decade later. Not only did I fail to reach my goal of practicing in seclusion, but I also joined the big family in Hsihu. This outcome was far from what I had expected!

Only when I had resided for a time at the Hsihu Center did I come to discover how fulfilling and interesting life in Hsihu can be. It is so completely different from my earlier image that I regretted not having come earlier (I was the last female resident disciple to be admitted to the Hsihu Center). Superficially, the resident disciples here have a similar appearance, hairstyle and attire, which makes them look rather uninteresting. However, closer observation reveals that each of them has a different personality. Some are stern and intrepid, some are gentle and flexible; some are insistent perfectionists, some are smart and adaptable; some are funny and amusing and some are dull and humorless. Although life here may seem rustic and simple on the surface, with so many people with such distinctive personalities living together in a group, it is instead rich in inner realization. If one calmly observes the Hsihu residents, one can see that each is a mirror reflecting one's own spiritual cultivation, and is an example to learn from. For those who care more about their inner life and who sincerely want to improve themselves, this is the most ideal environment for spiritual practice.

Life in the mountain at Hsihu is busy, but free from competitive pressures. Being mentally relaxed, we residents do not feel that we are toiling when we work. Instead, we see work simply as a chance that God has given us to learn and train ourselves. Each day, all kinds of situations arise from which we can learn lessons. Even when doing the same work, we have totally different insights because the frames of mind and working partners involved are different. Often on quiet nights, when my mind gradually becomes still, I am always amazed to find in myself a series of never-ending faults to overcome, but here at the Hsihu Center, there is an inexhaustible treasure that provides indescribable help for our spiritual practice.

My father has never seen Master nor read about Her teachings. Yet, one day, he said to me with deep feeling, "Observing the changes in you, I believe that your Master must be a great Saint, if not a Buddha." In the years that I have followed Master in spiritual cultivation, not only have I changed anew within and without, but have also cured my greatest fears about the monastic life. Even more fortunate is the chance I have been granted to live in surroundings that are absolutely ideal for spiritual practice. In return for such boundless love from Master, I can only quote an ancient Chinese saying: "For the greatest favor, saying thank you is not enough; just repay the favor whenever it is possible."